If it just happened

The first 24 hours

Ten things, in order. Most of them can wait longer than anyone will tell you. Tick them off as you go — this page remembers your place on this device.

1. 1 · Right nowGet the death legally pronouncedAt home with hospice, call the hospice nurse — not 911. At home without hospice, call 911. In a hospital or care home, staff handle this for you. Nothing else can proceed until this is done.
2. 2 · Right nowSit down for ten minutes before you call anyone elseNothing in the next hour is time-critical. Decisions made in the first thirty minutes are the ones families most often regret.
3. 3 · First few hoursTell two or three people, and ask one of them to tell the restWrite the short version once — name, when, and whether details will follow — and let someone else repeat it. You should not be making twenty phone calls today.
4. 4 · First few hoursLook for any written wishesCheck for a will, a prepaid funeral contract, a cemetery deed, a military discharge (DD-214), or a note in a bedside drawer. This changes what you are about to arrange, and often what it costs.
5. 5 · Within 24 hoursChoose who will take your loved one into their careYou are not obliged to use whoever the hospital or police suggest, and you may move them later. Compare all-in prices first — the difference between two providers in the same city is often several thousand dollars.
6. 6 · Within 24 hoursSecure pets, the home, and any dependentsFeed and rehome pets temporarily, lock the property, take in mail, and keep valuables and medications out of sight. Turn down the heating if the home will be empty.
7. 7 · Within 24 hoursGather what the funeral director will ask forFull legal name, date and place of birth, Social Security number, parents' names including mother's maiden name, education, occupation, and marital status. This is what goes on the death certificate.
8. 8 · Within 48 hoursOrder 10 to 12 certified death certificatesThe funeral home orders them for you. Institutions keep the copy you send, and ordering more later costs more per copy.
9. 9 · Within 48 hoursNotify the employer and check for benefitsAsk specifically about life insurance, unpaid wages, pension, and whether a union or employer death benefit exists. Many families never ask and never receive it.
10. 10 · Can wait a weekEverything elseBanks, subscriptions, social accounts, the estate, thank-you notes. None of it has a deadline this week. Write it down and close the notebook.